I’m in a similar place. In August my fiance broke up with me. We were doing fine, planning a March wedding, and then BOOM she dropped the bomb and moved out that night.
I’ve been a broken man ever since. The differences between you and me: I live alone, and work from home. So I really have no human contact. Just me and my thoughts. And as you know, the more you think the crazier you get.
I’m too shy to meet anyone over Jack’d, Grindr, or Scruff. Too afraid of rejection. I’m old (41), chubby, and hairy. I have low self-esteem.
And so I sit here and wallow. And fall further down the spiral. Not doing anything to improve my situation. Not feeling the energy or motivation. I just want to sleep and eat.
And dream of being loved, accepted — Having someone to extend my love to. Someone to text every day. To listen to. To care for. To touch.
And hate myself for not turning my dreams into a reality.
Anyhow… you’re not alone.